Gays, Guns and Roses

Aired Wednesday night on NBC:

Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin says she is opposed to same-sex marriage. Palin says, “Everyone knows marriage isn’t for gay people — it’s for pregnant teenagers.”
Speaking of Sarah Palin, she says that she is a lifelong member of the National Rifle Association. Which may explain why she’s in favor of shotgun weddings.

This week John McCain was endorsed by the gay group known as the Log Cabin Republicans. They endorsed McCain not because he supports gay rights, but because he was actually born in a log cabin.

Last night, President Bush addressed the crowd at the Republican convention via satellite. The first 10 minutes of Bush’s speech consisted of him saying, “Wait a minute, how can you see me when I can’t see you?”

According to a new study, men who have heated seats in their cars may be reducing the amount of sperm their testicles produce. Of course, guys who drive a Hyundai shouldn’t worry because nobody wants your sperm anyway.

In a recent interview, Brad Pitt says that his new baby daughter Vivienne takes after her mother Angelina Jolie. Pitt said, “For instance Vivienne has already adopted six orphans.”